In this post, I discuss my journey of seeking to understand happiness on a scientific level. I elaborate on the role of finding meaning in life.
In 2003, I attended a talk by a renowned psychologist, Martin Seligman. I was a senior in psychology at Penn State University at the time. The University hosted the former president of the American Psychological Association in a large auditorium in the student center (called the HUB at Penn State). Seligman is best known in the field for his research that established the concept of learned helplessness. This construct helped highlight a behavioral component of depression: as a person loses a sense of power over negative circumstances in their life, they eventually stop trying to get better.
Though Seligman made his name in the field by contributing to areas of distress in people’s lives, he made a dramatic change in focus at the turn of the millennium. Seligman became a pioneer in the area of “Positive Psychology”. This international movement started focusing on the factors that generate positive experiences in life.
In part due to Seligman’s charismatic and relatable speaking style and, in part due to my reason for entering the field of psychology in the first place, I was aggressively drawn into this area of study. The search for positive experience already resonated loudly in my mind. As a young child, I was raised with a strong Catholic background. I would sit in church and watch family members and community members experience comfort from their faith. My first career aspiration was to become a priest with the power to bring this peace to people’s lives. Though, like many Catholic boys that turn away from the seminary, I eventually hit puberty. While entering college, I thought about running a restaurant or hotel/resort that would bring enjoyment to people’s lives. And, eventually, I chose to study what interested me most: the direct study of these feelings of enjoyment and dissatisfaction through the study of psychology.
After hearing about the field’s shift toward Positive Psychology, I dove into various books on the topic. Most influential, not surprisingly, were Seligman’s books Authentic Happiness (2002) and Flourish (2011). In Authentic Happiness, Seligman took on the task of trying to define happiness in a scientific manner. He touches on three main areas of happiness: positive emotion (for example, enjoying one’s favorite food), character strengths (and lining up our life experiences with these strengths), and meaning/purpose. In Flourish, Seligman recognizes that happiness is only part of the formula for satisfaction in life. He presents a more global construct for satisfaction: well-being. He defines the components of well-being as: 1) Positive Emotion, 2) Engagement (deeply into one’s interests), 3) Relationships, 4) Meaning, and 5) Accomplishment (for the sake of the work, not some ultimate gain).
As a psychologist with a clinical practice, I steer my clients toward these areas of well-being often. If there are major gaps in any of these areas in my client’s lives, it immediately gives us a goal to explore. Yet, there is one factor of well-being that is more important than the rest. Emily Esfahani Smith (2017) presents in her book, The Power of Meaning, evidence that lasting satisfaction in life is most related to establishing a meaningful life. She cites studies where people that focus on activities that make them happy are satisfied for a short period of time and then more often experience shifts into despair some time in the near future. Alternatively, people that focus on meaningful activities (for example, forgiving a friend or volunteering) may not experience immediate satisfaction but experience more satisfaction and less despair over time. Smith more powerfully states (with supporting studies) that despair in life, including periods of suicidal thinking, is not a matter of lacking happiness. It’s a matter of lacking meaning in life.
This argument about happiness vs. meaning is not new. It existed among the early Greek philosophers. However, we live in a time that particularly emphasizes self-accomplishment and self-gain while less people are connected to religious/spiritual practices and stable communities. This argument is most relevant in these times.
When I look back on what I was drawn toward in my life’s work, including the options of becoming a priest, a restaurant owner, and, eventually, a psychologist, I’ve realized that I wasn’t just looking to provide happiness and comfort for other people. I was looking to establish meaning for others (and myself if I’m honest).
The search for meaning has become a powerful theme in my approach with clients, especially among clients suffering despair/depression. Smith (2017) expands on the components of a meaningful life: 1) belonging, 2) purpose, 3) transcendence, and 4) storytelling.
It’s remarkable how often my clients describe a lack of belonging in some area of their life, past or present. Even in a close, intimate relationship, they often don’t feel seen or heard by their partner. Establishing belonging is hard. Brene Brown, in her book Braving the Wilderness (2019), expands on the importance and depth of belonging by saying “belonging is being accepted for you. Fitting in is being accepted for being like everyone else. If I get to be me, I belong. If I have to be like you, I fit in.”
Purpose can come from many places, but it often involves finding our strengths/characteristics and using them to serve others in some way. My role as a father has become my greatest source of purpose. Our purpose also strengthens our relationship with ourselves. When we find our purpose, we find the best within ourselves.
Transcendence involves connecting to something more than ourselves. People find this through spirituality/religion, various forms of artistic expression, and deep connection with others/groups (among other pursuits/experiences). One of Freud’s pupils, Otto Rank (who later broke with Freud), stated in his theory of psychological health that artistic expression is one of the highest forms of living in the moment. Wadlington (2012) elaborates on Rank’s theory saying that Rank viewed the cause of “neurosis” (or a personality marked with anxiety about taking risks in life) as a fear of making the wrong choices in life before our death. Alternatively, Rank felt artistic expression is an embrace of living life fully in the moment while taking risks to share ourself.
The final component of Smith’s (2017) definition of meaning, Storytelling, is usually the most surprising element of meaning. Storytelling is the narrative we create for our experiences in life, past and present. This story is constantly changing, and we can even change the ways that we interpret our past experiences. Smith says that one of the most important themes of the narrative we create for ourselves are the questions: What have I lost? What have I gained?
There is so much material in Smith’s four components of meaning for us to explore in our own lives. Where and with whom do I really belong in life? And where am I trying to just fit in with other’s expectations? What are my strengths? Do I live in environments that capitalize upon them? How do I serve others? Do I have a form of creative expression through which I share myself? Do I take enough risks to share myself? What story do I tell about my life? Is my current story of myself fair to me?
My role as a therapist, in some ways, has always been about helping people find happiness. We’ve all been told that happiness is what we’re aiming for in fulfilling “the American Dream”. It’s written into America’s founding document, The Declaration of Independence. If we don’t find happiness in life, we’re at least promised the conditions for the pursuit of happiness. Yet, if we observe our experiences and emotional reactions, we find that happiness is fleeting, temporary. The creation of meaning in life is, instead, more enduring. And, we have the freedom to construct our own meaning.
If you feel lost in your life, it’s not a failure to achieve enough or to enjoy enough. You’ve instead lost sight of the many areas of meaning that can fill our lives. Try to slow things down in your life and look at the present moment, instead of regretting the past or worrying about the future. Ask yourself the questions above, in this moment in your complex life.
If you’d like to discuss these ideas further, please feel free to email me at weathe99@gmail.com
Ryan Weatherford, Ph.D., Licensed Psychologist
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